The Islamic Naming System
Excerpted From Tafseer Surat Al-Hujuraat By Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips
Islam places great emphasis on the clear identification of family relationships. The Prophet (SAW) himself said,
"Learn enough about your lineage to know your blood relatives and treat them accordingly." (At-Tirmidhee)
That is, family lines should be known well enough to prevent marriages within the forbidden degrees and to determine blood and family obligations.
Although it is the duty of the Islamic state to take care of its citizens, the primary responsibility lies first and foremost on family members. Therefore, according to Islamic law, blood relationships should be clearly defined and any tampering with them is strictly forbidden.
Names Imply a Genealogical Relationship
This is clearly stressed in the Islamic naming system in which each name and its sequences implies a specific genealogical relationship. For example, the name Khaalid ibn Abdullah ibn Zakee al-Harbee, which in present times is written Khaalid Abdullah Zakee al-Harbee means Khaalid the son of Abdullah, the son of Zakee, from the tribe of Harb.
This system of naming people after their fathers and forefathers has appeared in most cultures. Even in English, George the son of John in time became George, John's son and eventually became George Johnson.
In pre-Islamic times, the Arabs used to change the lineage of their adopted sons to their own lineage and this practice also occurred during the early stages of Muhammed's prophethood (SAW). However, Allah (SWT) forbade it during the Madeenan stage of prophethood in which the majority of the religious, social and economic laws of islam were revealed.
Call Them By Their Fathers
Ibn Umar (RA) reported that after the Prophet (SAW) freed Zayd ibn Harithah and adopted him, people used to refer to him as Zayd ibn Muhammed until the verse the following verse was revealed,
"Call them by (the names of) their father's, that is more just in the sight of Allah..." (Al-Ahzab 33:5)
Once this principle became part of the divine law, the Prophet (SAW) was instructed to further emphasize it by a series of warnings. For example, on one occasion he said,
"He who knowingly attributed his fatherhood to someone other than his real father will be excluded from paradise." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)
Abu Dharr (RA) also related that he heard the Prophet (SAW) say,
"He who deliberately lets himself be called the son of someone other than his father is guilty of disbelief (kufr)." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood)
Islamic Law is Comprehensive
Thus, the Arabic system of naming people according to their father's names which was endorsed by the Prophet (SAW) and approved of by Allah (SWT) is considered the Islamic naming system.
Islamic law is comprehensive. It regulates all aspects of human life in order to establish a social system in which human welfare is looked after and the worship of God is enshrined. Consequently, although some facets of the Islamic naming system may be more important than other, none are so irrelevant or unimportant that whether it is done or not makes no difference.
The fact that European colonialism has managed to corrupt the application of the Islamic naming system especially among non-Arab Muslims does not in any way alter its validity. By colonial times the Western naming system had degenerated into a meaningless jumble of names followed by a family name.
Muslim Woman Keeps Her Father's Name
Influenced by the Greco-Roman culture in which women were considered to e the property of men, western society erased a woman's family name upon marriage and replaced it by that of her husband. In the Islamic naming system she retains her father's name as it indicates her true lineage.
However, both of these degenerative Western trends have been widely adopted in Muslim lands along with other un-Islamic cultural trappings of European colonialism. New Muslims, unaware of the Islamic naming system, often adopt Arabic names in the chaotic European style.
Legacy of Slavery
In fact, those of African descent often erase even their family names on the basis that these names are remnants from the days of slavery. That is, those of their ancestors who were slaves usually adopted the family name of their slave masters and it was the slave masters' name which was handed down from generations to generation. Hence, an individual who may have been called Clive Baron Williams while his father's name was George Herbert Williams may, upon entering Islamic, rename himself Faisal Umar Nkruma Mahdi. However, his name according to the Islamic naming system should have been Faisal George Williams, that is, Faisal the son of George Williams. Whether "Williams" was the name of his ancestors plantation owner or not is not of any consequence. Since his father's name was George Williams, he is, according to the Islamic naming system, the son of George Williams. That much of his father's name is necessary to determine who his relatives are in order to avoid incestuous marriages, discharge inheritance rights and fulfill general responsibilities to blood relations.
New Muslims Should Keep Family Name
This becomes especially important in the West where premarital and extra-marital relations are common leading to generations of illegitimate inter-related children. Consequently, when some of these half-brothers and sisters enter Islam under different assumed family names, there exists a very real possibility that some of them may unintentionally contract incestuous marriage. The practice among new Muslims of deleting their family names has frequently created deep resentment among their non-Muslim families which could have been easily avoided if the Islamic naming system had been adopted.
Actually, the new Muslim is under no obligation to change even his or her "Christian name" unless it contains an un-Islamic meaning. Thus, the given name "Clive", which means cliff-dweller need not have been changed whereas "Dennis", a variation of Dionysus (which was the Greek god of wine and fertility who was worshipped with orgiastic rites), would have to be changed. Similarly female names like "Lois" which means desirable or "Ann" (or its diminutive forms Annie and Nancy) which means grace, need not be changed while names like "Ingrid" which means daughter of Ing (a god in Germanic mythology) or "Laverne" taken from the name of the Roman goddess of spring and grain would also have to be changed.
However,. it is perfectly acceptable for a Muslim, whether a recent convert or not, to change his or her first name if he/she chooses. It was the Prophet's (SAW) practice to change peoples first names if they were too arrogant, negative or un-Islamic. One of the Prophet's (SAW) wives was originally named "Barrah" (pious) and he changed it to "Zaynab" (collected by Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood) as Allah (SWT) had said in the Quran,
"Do not claim piety for yourselves for He knows best who is God-fearing." (An-Najm 53:32)
Ibn Abbas (RA) reported that another of the Prophet's (SAW) wives was also named Barrah and he changed it to Juwayriyah (collected by Muslim).
Ibn Umar (RA) reported that his father, Umar, had a daughter named "Aasiyah" (disobedient) whom the Prophet (SAW) renamed "Jameelah" (beautiful ). (collected by Muslim).
Jabir ibn Abdullah (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) decided to forbid names like Ya'laa (elevated), Barakah (blessing), Aflah (successful), Yasaar (wealth) and Naafi (beneficial). (collected by Muslim).
The Prophet (SAW) Never Changed the Names of the Fathers
However, Allah's Messenger (SAW) never changed the names of people's fathers, no matter how un-Islamic they may have been. For example, when the Sahabi Abdu Shams ibn Sakhr accepted Islam, the Prophet (SAW) cancelled his given nam, Abdu-Shams (slave of a sun), and renamed him Abdur-Rahman ibn Sakhr (collect by Ibn Hajar al-Asqalaanee). His father's name, Sakhr (rock), was left untouched.
Likewise, the Sahabi, Abu Salamah's name was changed to Abdullah ibn Abdul-Asad leaving his father's name Abdul-Asad (slave of the lion) unchanged. (collected by Ibn al-Jawzee).
Thus, it can be concluded that erasing one's family name is against both the letter and the spirit of Islamic law. The father's first and last name should be retained and if the father is unknown, the mother's first and last name should follow the Muslim's given or chosen name.
Kunyah Can Be Added
However, it should be noted, that there are other titles and descriptive names which may be added to either or both the beginning and the end of a person's actual name. According to the Islamic naming system, prefixed names known as Kunyah consist of Abu (the father/owner of) in the case of males and Umm (the mother of) in the case of women, followed by the name of the person's oldest child or male child, a child wished for or a trait the person is noted for.
Some people became so well known by their Kunya that their actual names are almost forgotten.
For example, among the Sahabah:
Abu Bakr (Abdullah ibn Uthman)
Abu Hurayrah (Abdur Rahman ibn Sakhr)
Abu Laylaa (Bilal al-Ansari)
And among the fuqahaa (legislators): Abu Haneefah (Nu'maan ibn Tahabit).
The suffixed tittles are of two types:
The Laqab, a descriptive trait, for example, Abu Bakr was titled by the Prophet (SAW) "as-Siddeeq" (the truthful) and Umar, "al-Farooq" (the discerner).
The second type is known as Nisbah which refers to the place or tribe with which one is associated. For example, the Sahabi, Abu Dharr "al-Ghifaaree" (from the tribe of Ghifaar) and Hadith scholars such as al-Bukhari (Muhammad ibn Ismaa'eel), from the city Bukhara and at-Tirmidhee (Muhammad ibn Eesaa) from the city of Tirmidh. The Nisabah suffix may also refer to a profession.
Naming Girls
Care should also be taken in naming girls, as the practice of giving girls two or three female names before the family name is a fairly recent Western practice which is inconsistent with the Islamic naming system. For example, a girl named Asmaa Jameelah Zaynab Abdullah whose father's name was Zayd Abdullah should really be called Asmaa Zayd Abdullah, that is, Asmaa the daughter of Zayd Abdullah.
This principle is due to the fact that a man's or woman's given name, according to the Islamic naming system, should only be followed by the name of his or her mother if the father was unknown, or the child was illegitimate and the parents were not married. Thus, the name Asmaa Jameelah Zaynab Abdullah in the Islamic naming system means Asmaa was the illegitimate daughter of Jameelah and her mother Jameelah was also the illegitimate daughter of Zaynab, the daughter of Abdullah.
***
We have many more good articles on Zawaj.com explaining the Islamic naming system:
List of Muslim girls' names and their meanings.
List of Muslim boys' names and their meanings.
Manners of Welcoming the New Born Child in Islam by Yoosuf ibn Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
The Islamic Naming System by Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips
Prohibited Names in Islam by Yoosuf ibn Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
Praiseworthy Muslim Names.
Naming Issues in Islam.
The Fiqh of Naming Children (according to the Shafi`i school)
Call Them by Their Fathers' Names by Sheikh Wajdi al-Ghazzawi
New Muslim Convert: Is Changing My Name Necessary? By Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi
Guyana Muslim Names
Muslim Names
Marriage Articles
Doshiza
Doshiza
Monday, 21 February 2011
A Chart of the Manners of Welcoming the Newborn Child in Islam
A Chart of the Manners of Welcoming the Newborn Child in Islam
This is a handy chart showing all the Islamic customs and traditions for welcoming a newborn baby. These include congratulating the baby, making dua for him or her, rubbing a date in the baby's mouth, circumcision for the boy only (circumcision for females is not a correct Islamic practice and is very damaging), the Aqeeqah, naming the child, shaving the head, etc. See the chart below.
By Yoosef ibn Abdullaah al-Arafee
Translated by Aboo Talhah Daawood ibn Ronald Burbank
Some slight modifications by Zawaj.com
© All rights reserved. This is an internet edition of the soft cover book with the name same name (it is only a partial rendering of the entire book).
We have many good articles on Zawaj.com providing information about names in Islam, including lists of Muslim names, recommended Muslim names, and the Islamic naming system:
List of Muslim girls' names and their meanings.
List of Muslim boys' names and their meanings.
Manners of Welcoming the New Born Child in Islam by Yoosuf ibn Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
The Islamic Naming System by Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips
Prohibited Names in Islam by Yoosuf ibn Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
Praiseworthy Names.
Naming Issues in Islam.
The Fiqh of Naming Children (according to the Shafi`i school)
Call Them by Their Fathers' Names by Sheikh Wajdi al-Ghazzawi
New Muslim Convert: Is Changing My Name Necessary? By Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi
Guyana Muslim Names
Muslim Names
Marriage Articles
This is a handy chart showing all the Islamic customs and traditions for welcoming a newborn baby. These include congratulating the baby, making dua for him or her, rubbing a date in the baby's mouth, circumcision for the boy only (circumcision for females is not a correct Islamic practice and is very damaging), the Aqeeqah, naming the child, shaving the head, etc. See the chart below.
By Yoosef ibn Abdullaah al-Arafee
Translated by Aboo Talhah Daawood ibn Ronald Burbank
Some slight modifications by Zawaj.com
© All rights reserved. This is an internet edition of the soft cover book with the name same name (it is only a partial rendering of the entire book).
We have many good articles on Zawaj.com providing information about names in Islam, including lists of Muslim names, recommended Muslim names, and the Islamic naming system:
List of Muslim girls' names and their meanings.
List of Muslim boys' names and their meanings.
Manners of Welcoming the New Born Child in Islam by Yoosuf ibn Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
The Islamic Naming System by Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips
Prohibited Names in Islam by Yoosuf ibn Abdullaah Al-'Areefee
Praiseworthy Names.
Naming Issues in Islam.
The Fiqh of Naming Children (according to the Shafi`i school)
Call Them by Their Fathers' Names by Sheikh Wajdi al-Ghazzawi
New Muslim Convert: Is Changing My Name Necessary? By Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi
Guyana Muslim Names
Muslim Names
Marriage Articles
Some Practical Benefits of Breastfeeding
Some Practical Benefits of Breastfeeding
Source: Summayyah's Garden (http://www.sumayyahs-garden.org)
Assalamu aliekum wa rahmat'Allah, Here are a few conclusions come to by modern medicine and study that again confirm the wisdom of Allah the exalted and the completness and perfection of Islam.
Breastfed babies:
get sick less often and get less severe illnesses
are hospitalized less often and have a lower rate of mortality
have a lower risk of diarrheal disease
have a lower incidence of gastrointestinal illness
have a lower risk of urinary tract infections
have a lower incidence of respiratory disease
have a lower incidence of otitis media ear infections
have al lower incidence of allergies
have a lower rate of pneumonia
have lower rates of obesity
have a lower incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
have fewer learning and behavior difficulties
Breastfeeding:
helps bond mother and child
confers passive immunity
is protective against measles and other communicable diseases
provides optimal growth and neurological development
prevents malocclusion and leads to better teeth and jaw development
protects against hypothermia
provides partial protection against necrotising entercolitis
provides major protection against bacteremia and meningitis
reduces the incidence of childhood lymphoma
enhances visual development
provides protection against neonatal sepsis
is less risky for premature babies and low birth rate babies
Artificially fed babies:
have an increased risk factor for juvenile diabetes
may have impaired antibody response to vaccines
who are premature experience apnea and bradycardia more frequently
have a higher risk of inflammatory illness
have a higher risk of celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, cholera, and neonatal hypocalcemic tetany
Benefits for the Mother from breastfeeding:
bonds mother and child
provides the mother hormonal induced contentment
encourages efficient uterine contractions after childbirth
allows mothers to lose pregnancy weight and size faster
is convenient
the milk is pre-warmed, clean and always available
is cost effective and saves money
contributes to natural family planning
contributes to household food security
fosters confidence and promotes self-esteem
reduces the incidence of urinary tract infections
is protective against cancer (breast, ovarian, cervical)
lowers the incidence of chronic hepatitis
reduces the incidence of osteoporosis
reduces the requirements of insulin for lactating diabetic mothers Benefits for the community
Additionally breastfeeding:
results in less environmental waste and pollution
frees up health resources
saves money for hospitals and health clinics
may decrease spending on imports.
and more....
Source: Summayyah's Garden (http://www.sumayyahs-garden.org)
Assalamu aliekum wa rahmat'Allah, Here are a few conclusions come to by modern medicine and study that again confirm the wisdom of Allah the exalted and the completness and perfection of Islam.
Breastfed babies:
get sick less often and get less severe illnesses
are hospitalized less often and have a lower rate of mortality
have a lower risk of diarrheal disease
have a lower incidence of gastrointestinal illness
have a lower risk of urinary tract infections
have a lower incidence of respiratory disease
have a lower incidence of otitis media ear infections
have al lower incidence of allergies
have a lower rate of pneumonia
have lower rates of obesity
have a lower incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
have fewer learning and behavior difficulties
Breastfeeding:
helps bond mother and child
confers passive immunity
is protective against measles and other communicable diseases
provides optimal growth and neurological development
prevents malocclusion and leads to better teeth and jaw development
protects against hypothermia
provides partial protection against necrotising entercolitis
provides major protection against bacteremia and meningitis
reduces the incidence of childhood lymphoma
enhances visual development
provides protection against neonatal sepsis
is less risky for premature babies and low birth rate babies
Artificially fed babies:
have an increased risk factor for juvenile diabetes
may have impaired antibody response to vaccines
who are premature experience apnea and bradycardia more frequently
have a higher risk of inflammatory illness
have a higher risk of celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, cholera, and neonatal hypocalcemic tetany
Benefits for the Mother from breastfeeding:
bonds mother and child
provides the mother hormonal induced contentment
encourages efficient uterine contractions after childbirth
allows mothers to lose pregnancy weight and size faster
is convenient
the milk is pre-warmed, clean and always available
is cost effective and saves money
contributes to natural family planning
contributes to household food security
fosters confidence and promotes self-esteem
reduces the incidence of urinary tract infections
is protective against cancer (breast, ovarian, cervical)
lowers the incidence of chronic hepatitis
reduces the incidence of osteoporosis
reduces the requirements of insulin for lactating diabetic mothers Benefits for the community
Additionally breastfeeding:
results in less environmental waste and pollution
frees up health resources
saves money for hospitals and health clinics
may decrease spending on imports.
and more....
Pregnancy Woes
Pregnancy Woes
Head-to-toe relief for the growing pains of pregnancy
By Karen Miles
Before you became pregnant, you probably thought that you had an understanding with your body: You were good to it, it was good to you. Now that you’re expecting, however, you find that all bets are off. Your little bundle of joy is calling the shots, and your body is straining to accommodate. Feet are swelling, ligaments are stretching, veins are bulging, and hormones are raging. Simply put, you need help. Fortunately, Relief is just a page away.
The BT Guide was written by Karen Miles.
LITTLE CURES FOR BIG DISCOMFORTS
ITCHY SKIN
As your skin stretches, it can become dry and itchy.
Relief: Slather on moisturizer or cocoa butter after bathing, and avoid harsh soaps, which remove your skin’s natural oils.
FREQUENT URINATION
Your growing uterus presses on your bladder.
Relief: By four months, the uterus moves up, relieving the pressure. Meanwhile, keep drinking liquids and don’t wait to urinate — it can lead to a urinary tract infection.
EDEMA
You may retain some fluid — especially around your ankles and feet.
Relief: Put your feet up, switch standing and sitting positions often, and don’t cross your legs. If your rings get tight, put them on a chain and wear them as a necklace.
VARICOSE VEINS
Valves that propel blood start to soften, causing the blood to pool and form painful bulges.
Relief: Avoid crossing your legs, standing in one position for too long, or wearing anything that cuts off circulation (like knee-high stockings). Support hose may also help soothe the aches.
FATIGUE
Hormonal havoc and the energy it takes to create a baby sap your strength.
Relief: Rest often and avoid sugar and caffeine.
LEG CRAMPS
Sluggish circulation causes painful knots.
Relief: Gentle massage or stretching (with toes flexed, not pointed) can help relax the muscle. Try stretching your legs before bedtime.
ROUND-LIGAMENT PAIN
Your ligaments stretch to support the growing weight of your womb, causing sharp pains from the top of your uterus down to your pubic bone.
Relief: Get off your feet, and support your belly with a pillow when you’re lying on your side. Warm baths are soothing too.
HEMORRHOIDS
These swollen rectal veins result from hard-to-pass bowel movements.
Relief: Try ice packs, sitz baths, or witch hazel compresses, and ask your doctor about a stool softener or suppositories.
BACKACHES
Your shifting center of gravity and the increased natural curvature of your spine strain your back.
Relief: Stand up straight, and be careful lifting. While sitting, elevate your feet, and use a pillow for the small of your back.
INCREASED VAGINAL DISCHARGE
A clear to yellowish secretion, known as leukorrhea, helps flush bacteria from your vagina.
Relief: Wear a light panty shield in your underwear to help you feel fresher, but don’t douche or wear tampons.
DIGESTIVE PROBLEMS
Pregnancy hormones slow some bodily functions, resulting in constipation, indigestion, bloating, and gas.
Relief: Eat a diet high in fiber (whole grains, raw fruits and vegetables), drink plenty of liquids, and try to take a walk every day.
NAUSEA
So-called morning sickness — nausea that ranges from mild queasiness to frequent vomiting — can last all day.
Relief: Eat small, frequent meals high in protein and carbohydrates, and keep a few crackers by your bed to help settle your stomach before you get up in the morning.
HEARTBURN
Your uterus presses on your stomach, causing acids to back up.
Relief: Even when you’re ravenous, eat slowly. Avoid greasy foods and stay upright after meals. Also, try eating yogurt or chewable calcium tablets.
TENDER BREASTS
As your breasts rev up for breastfeeding, they may be slightly swollen and feel sensitive or painful to the touch.
Relief: Buy a comfortable and supportive bra (without underwire is best).
HEADACHES
The sudden surge of hormones may cause migraines.
Relief: Try hot and cold compresses, temple massage, and fresh air. Acetaminophen is considered safe for pregnant women, but talk to your doctor before taking any drugs.
NASAL CONGESTION
High levels of estrogen and progesterone increase blood flow to the mucous membranes, causing them to soften and swell. Your sinuses may feel extremely dry.
Relief: Use a humidifier to loosen congestion, and lubricate the inside of your nose with a little petroleum jelly.
IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE — OR NOT
Early in pregnancy, levels of estrogen and progesterone soar — increasing blood flow and sensitivity in the breasts, vagina, labia, and clitoris — which may turn you into a sexual dynamo. On the other hand, when you’re dealing with nausea, fatigue, and moodiness, you may find sex as appealing as your annual exam. The key for you and your partner is to expect fluctuations in desire, so that when it wanes, you can stay intimate in other ways — by holding hands, snuggling, or giving each other massages.
By the way, there’s no reason to fear that you’ll harm the baby during intercourse. She’s well-protected in her amniotic bubble, and unless you’re at risk for miscarriage or preterm labor (in which case, you should seek your doctor’s advice), sex generally poses no danger whatsoever.
THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
Consider yourself hormonally challenged: During pregnancy, estrogen can climb to 60 times its normal level. In general, higher levels of both progesterone and estrogen can make you feel good, but sometimes the huge fluctuations can also puncture the euphoria. In fact, a wide range of emotional states is perfectly normal — quiet and withdrawn, scared, anxious, elated and excited, easily angered or tearful, ambivalent, worried, and happy. But you can try to stay on an even keel with enough rest, exercise, and communication with your partner.
On the other hand, if your symptoms include prolonged weepiness, anxiety, sleeplessness, guilt, anger, pessimism, or detachment, talk to a professional about pregnancy-related depression. This potentially serious condition can last anywhere from weeks to months, and it can be treated safely with therapy and medicine. Women who experience severe depression during pregnancy are also at high risk of postpartum depression, so this is one condition you don’t want to wait out.
WHEN WOES ARE SERIOUS
With everything your body’s going through during pregnancy, it can be tough to tell which changes are simply uncomfortable and which are dangerous. Don’t hesitate to call your doctor when in doubt. And be sure to talk to her if you experience any of the following symptoms:
EXTREME FATIGUE
A possible sign of anemia, or iron deficiency in the blood.
PERSISTENT VOMITING OR DIARRHEA OR A HIGH FEVER LASTING MORE THAN 24 HOURS
Any of these conditions can cause dehydration, which in turn can damage the baby’s developing organs.
BLEEDING
A possible sign of a miscarriage or of placenta previa.
CONSTANT ABDOMINAL PAIN OR CRAMPING
Symptoms that may indicate an ectopic pregnancy or pending miscarriage.
SEVERE HEADACHES OR SUDDEN, EXCESSIVE SWELLING OF THE HANDS AND FACE
Possible signs of pregnancy-induced hypertension, and preeclampsia.
TREAT YOURSELF
This is one time when everyone will let you enjoy a much-deserved break. Take advantage!
Light some candles and soak in the tub.
Get your hair washed at a salon.
Make a "baby tape" of your favorite music.
Rent a tear-jerker and cry your eyes out.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get a pedicure even if you can’t see your feet anymore.
First published in BabyTalk magazine, June/July 1, 1998
Head-to-toe relief for the growing pains of pregnancy
By Karen Miles
Before you became pregnant, you probably thought that you had an understanding with your body: You were good to it, it was good to you. Now that you’re expecting, however, you find that all bets are off. Your little bundle of joy is calling the shots, and your body is straining to accommodate. Feet are swelling, ligaments are stretching, veins are bulging, and hormones are raging. Simply put, you need help. Fortunately, Relief is just a page away.
The BT Guide was written by Karen Miles.
LITTLE CURES FOR BIG DISCOMFORTS
ITCHY SKIN
As your skin stretches, it can become dry and itchy.
Relief: Slather on moisturizer or cocoa butter after bathing, and avoid harsh soaps, which remove your skin’s natural oils.
FREQUENT URINATION
Your growing uterus presses on your bladder.
Relief: By four months, the uterus moves up, relieving the pressure. Meanwhile, keep drinking liquids and don’t wait to urinate — it can lead to a urinary tract infection.
EDEMA
You may retain some fluid — especially around your ankles and feet.
Relief: Put your feet up, switch standing and sitting positions often, and don’t cross your legs. If your rings get tight, put them on a chain and wear them as a necklace.
VARICOSE VEINS
Valves that propel blood start to soften, causing the blood to pool and form painful bulges.
Relief: Avoid crossing your legs, standing in one position for too long, or wearing anything that cuts off circulation (like knee-high stockings). Support hose may also help soothe the aches.
FATIGUE
Hormonal havoc and the energy it takes to create a baby sap your strength.
Relief: Rest often and avoid sugar and caffeine.
LEG CRAMPS
Sluggish circulation causes painful knots.
Relief: Gentle massage or stretching (with toes flexed, not pointed) can help relax the muscle. Try stretching your legs before bedtime.
ROUND-LIGAMENT PAIN
Your ligaments stretch to support the growing weight of your womb, causing sharp pains from the top of your uterus down to your pubic bone.
Relief: Get off your feet, and support your belly with a pillow when you’re lying on your side. Warm baths are soothing too.
HEMORRHOIDS
These swollen rectal veins result from hard-to-pass bowel movements.
Relief: Try ice packs, sitz baths, or witch hazel compresses, and ask your doctor about a stool softener or suppositories.
BACKACHES
Your shifting center of gravity and the increased natural curvature of your spine strain your back.
Relief: Stand up straight, and be careful lifting. While sitting, elevate your feet, and use a pillow for the small of your back.
INCREASED VAGINAL DISCHARGE
A clear to yellowish secretion, known as leukorrhea, helps flush bacteria from your vagina.
Relief: Wear a light panty shield in your underwear to help you feel fresher, but don’t douche or wear tampons.
DIGESTIVE PROBLEMS
Pregnancy hormones slow some bodily functions, resulting in constipation, indigestion, bloating, and gas.
Relief: Eat a diet high in fiber (whole grains, raw fruits and vegetables), drink plenty of liquids, and try to take a walk every day.
NAUSEA
So-called morning sickness — nausea that ranges from mild queasiness to frequent vomiting — can last all day.
Relief: Eat small, frequent meals high in protein and carbohydrates, and keep a few crackers by your bed to help settle your stomach before you get up in the morning.
HEARTBURN
Your uterus presses on your stomach, causing acids to back up.
Relief: Even when you’re ravenous, eat slowly. Avoid greasy foods and stay upright after meals. Also, try eating yogurt or chewable calcium tablets.
TENDER BREASTS
As your breasts rev up for breastfeeding, they may be slightly swollen and feel sensitive or painful to the touch.
Relief: Buy a comfortable and supportive bra (without underwire is best).
HEADACHES
The sudden surge of hormones may cause migraines.
Relief: Try hot and cold compresses, temple massage, and fresh air. Acetaminophen is considered safe for pregnant women, but talk to your doctor before taking any drugs.
NASAL CONGESTION
High levels of estrogen and progesterone increase blood flow to the mucous membranes, causing them to soften and swell. Your sinuses may feel extremely dry.
Relief: Use a humidifier to loosen congestion, and lubricate the inside of your nose with a little petroleum jelly.
IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE — OR NOT
Early in pregnancy, levels of estrogen and progesterone soar — increasing blood flow and sensitivity in the breasts, vagina, labia, and clitoris — which may turn you into a sexual dynamo. On the other hand, when you’re dealing with nausea, fatigue, and moodiness, you may find sex as appealing as your annual exam. The key for you and your partner is to expect fluctuations in desire, so that when it wanes, you can stay intimate in other ways — by holding hands, snuggling, or giving each other massages.
By the way, there’s no reason to fear that you’ll harm the baby during intercourse. She’s well-protected in her amniotic bubble, and unless you’re at risk for miscarriage or preterm labor (in which case, you should seek your doctor’s advice), sex generally poses no danger whatsoever.
THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
Consider yourself hormonally challenged: During pregnancy, estrogen can climb to 60 times its normal level. In general, higher levels of both progesterone and estrogen can make you feel good, but sometimes the huge fluctuations can also puncture the euphoria. In fact, a wide range of emotional states is perfectly normal — quiet and withdrawn, scared, anxious, elated and excited, easily angered or tearful, ambivalent, worried, and happy. But you can try to stay on an even keel with enough rest, exercise, and communication with your partner.
On the other hand, if your symptoms include prolonged weepiness, anxiety, sleeplessness, guilt, anger, pessimism, or detachment, talk to a professional about pregnancy-related depression. This potentially serious condition can last anywhere from weeks to months, and it can be treated safely with therapy and medicine. Women who experience severe depression during pregnancy are also at high risk of postpartum depression, so this is one condition you don’t want to wait out.
WHEN WOES ARE SERIOUS
With everything your body’s going through during pregnancy, it can be tough to tell which changes are simply uncomfortable and which are dangerous. Don’t hesitate to call your doctor when in doubt. And be sure to talk to her if you experience any of the following symptoms:
EXTREME FATIGUE
A possible sign of anemia, or iron deficiency in the blood.
PERSISTENT VOMITING OR DIARRHEA OR A HIGH FEVER LASTING MORE THAN 24 HOURS
Any of these conditions can cause dehydration, which in turn can damage the baby’s developing organs.
BLEEDING
A possible sign of a miscarriage or of placenta previa.
CONSTANT ABDOMINAL PAIN OR CRAMPING
Symptoms that may indicate an ectopic pregnancy or pending miscarriage.
SEVERE HEADACHES OR SUDDEN, EXCESSIVE SWELLING OF THE HANDS AND FACE
Possible signs of pregnancy-induced hypertension, and preeclampsia.
TREAT YOURSELF
This is one time when everyone will let you enjoy a much-deserved break. Take advantage!
Light some candles and soak in the tub.
Get your hair washed at a salon.
Make a "baby tape" of your favorite music.
Rent a tear-jerker and cry your eyes out.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get a pedicure even if you can’t see your feet anymore.
First published in BabyTalk magazine, June/July 1, 1998
Fatwa: The Maximum Amount of Time a Man Can Live Away From His Wife
Fatwa: The Maximum Amount of Time a Man Can Live Away From His Wife
Reprinted from Islam Online
Fatwa Question Details
QUESTION:
Name: Anwar from Pakistan
Title: The Maximum Amount of Time a Man Can Live away from His Wife
Question: As-Salaamu `alaykum. What is the maximum amount of time a man can live away from his wife? When a person moves to Europe or America, it can take one or two years (depending on the individual) to settle down properly. If his wife joins him from the beginning, it will be difficult for him to cope with the financial pressure and concentrate on other aspects of life.
ANSWER:
Date: 26/Apr/2001
Mufti: Islam Online Fatwa Committee
Answer: Dr. Su`aad Salih, Al-Azhar University, answers:
Wa`alaykum As-Salaamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
The maximum limit a husband is allowed to be away from his wife is four months, or six months in the view of the scholars of the Hanbali school. This is the maximum period a woman can endure separation from her husband.
Exegetes of the Glorious Qur'an narrate the following incident in support of this opinion.
One night Caliph 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, was making his rounds of Madinah when he heard a woman singing:
The night is long, darkness all around me;
I am sleepless, for I have no friend to play with.
By Allah, had there been no fear of Him,
This cot would be shaking from side to side.
Upon investigation, 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, found that the woman's husband had been on a military expedition for a long time. He then asked his daughter, Hafsah, a widow of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, "How long can a woman endure separation from her husband?" She replied, "Four months." As a consequence, he decided that he would not send a married man away from his wife for a period exceeding four months.
However, if your wife agrees to give up this right for more than this period, and allow you to travel until she is able to join you, then it is lawful and there is no wrong in this.
Allah Almighty knows best.
Reprinted from Islam Online
Fatwa Question Details
QUESTION:
Name: Anwar from Pakistan
Title: The Maximum Amount of Time a Man Can Live away from His Wife
Question: As-Salaamu `alaykum. What is the maximum amount of time a man can live away from his wife? When a person moves to Europe or America, it can take one or two years (depending on the individual) to settle down properly. If his wife joins him from the beginning, it will be difficult for him to cope with the financial pressure and concentrate on other aspects of life.
ANSWER:
Date: 26/Apr/2001
Mufti: Islam Online Fatwa Committee
Answer: Dr. Su`aad Salih, Al-Azhar University, answers:
Wa`alaykum As-Salaamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
The maximum limit a husband is allowed to be away from his wife is four months, or six months in the view of the scholars of the Hanbali school. This is the maximum period a woman can endure separation from her husband.
Exegetes of the Glorious Qur'an narrate the following incident in support of this opinion.
One night Caliph 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, was making his rounds of Madinah when he heard a woman singing:
The night is long, darkness all around me;
I am sleepless, for I have no friend to play with.
By Allah, had there been no fear of Him,
This cot would be shaking from side to side.
Upon investigation, 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, found that the woman's husband had been on a military expedition for a long time. He then asked his daughter, Hafsah, a widow of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, "How long can a woman endure separation from her husband?" She replied, "Four months." As a consequence, he decided that he would not send a married man away from his wife for a period exceeding four months.
However, if your wife agrees to give up this right for more than this period, and allow you to travel until she is able to join you, then it is lawful and there is no wrong in this.
Allah Almighty knows best.
Reprinted from the Jamiat-ul-Ulama website, jamiat.org.za
Reprinted from the Jamiat-ul-Ulama website, jamiat.org.za
Nowadays, the general trend governing marriages is that the husband views his responsibility towards his family as being a purely materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car, clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking down since many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending sufficient time with their families - in communicating and interacting with the family and children. Islam presents a different view of the role of the husband, where he is made responsible for the Islamic nurturing and development of his wife and children as well as their psychological and moral welfare. In actual fact the time which he spends with his family is not only a responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for which he will be rewarded. Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become restless and seek every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among other things:
Spending a great deal of time watching sports on TV
Spending many afternoons and evenings 'with the boys' at THE CLUB.
Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.
It also often transpires that if the wife (reluctantly) agrees to an arrangement allowing the husband regular time 'with the boys' the opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit relationships (adultery), etc.
He seeks more and more to be away from his family and should the wife raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a great temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness and neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating their miserable condition because they have no where else to go. How often have you heard a tearful wife say, 'He's got more time for his friends than for me'.
Allah's Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) said, 'The best of you is he who is best to his family'. (Mishkat)
Al-Jamiat Publications
Nowadays, the general trend governing marriages is that the husband views his responsibility towards his family as being a purely materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car, clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking down since many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending sufficient time with their families - in communicating and interacting with the family and children. Islam presents a different view of the role of the husband, where he is made responsible for the Islamic nurturing and development of his wife and children as well as their psychological and moral welfare. In actual fact the time which he spends with his family is not only a responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for which he will be rewarded. Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become restless and seek every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among other things:
Spending a great deal of time watching sports on TV
Spending many afternoons and evenings 'with the boys' at THE CLUB.
Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.
It also often transpires that if the wife (reluctantly) agrees to an arrangement allowing the husband regular time 'with the boys' the opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit relationships (adultery), etc.
He seeks more and more to be away from his family and should the wife raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a great temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness and neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating their miserable condition because they have no where else to go. How often have you heard a tearful wife say, 'He's got more time for his friends than for me'.
Allah's Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) said, 'The best of you is he who is best to his family'. (Mishkat)
Al-Jamiat Publications
Some Husband and Wife Issues
Some Husband and Wife Issues
By Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi
These questions and answers are from Dr. Siddiqi's column, which is published on the Pakistan Link website.
Q 1. A Muslim woman was very badly treated by her husband. For several years she tried to separate from him and asked him for divorce, but he refused to divorce her. Finally she went to the American court and filed for divorce. Now she has received the judgment from the court and her marriage with this husband is dissolved by the American court, but her husband tells her that only a Muslim judge can dissolve the Islamic marriage. The non-Muslim American court has no right to dissolve their Islamic marriage. He insists that they are still married. He has some Fatwas from some 'Ulama in India and Pakistan who support this view. She really does not want to live with him, but he wants to punish her by keeping her in this uncertain condition. What is the solution? Please explain the Islamic position in this matter.
A 1. According to Islamic law only a husband has right to divorce his wife. In case a wife does not want to live with her husband she has a right of Khula', i.e. she should ask her husband to divorce her and in return she may give up her Mahr. If the husband refuses to divorce her and she finds it impossible to live with him, then she can go to a Muslim judge (Qadi) and can ask him for the dissolution of their marriage. Muslim judge has the authority to dissolve Islamic marriage.
The dilemma that Muslims in America face is this that there are no Muslim courts or Muslim judges in this country, and even if some Muslim scholars or imams of some Islamic centers dissolve a marriage according to Islamic laws, the American courts do not recognize Islamic divorces. Until the American court dissolves the marriage, the parties are considered legally married. In America, divorce can only take place by the judgment of the civil court, neither a husband has right to divorce his wife, nor a wife to divorce her husband, nor a religious authority of any religion can dissolve a legal marriage. (To my knowledge the only exception is given to some American Indian groups in their reservations.)
Under these circumstances we can say that Muslims have three options:
In case of marital dispute the husband of wife both should go to a Muslim scholar and both of them should sign an agreement that they would accept his decision. Once the decision is made they should file it in the family court. Such marriage settlement agreement will be according to Islamic law but it is also acceptable under the American family law. Once this agreement is filed it becomes binding on both parties.
Second option is that husband and wife both sign a pre-marital agreement that in case of dispute they will resolve their differences and/or dissolve their marriage according to the Islamic law.
A properly formulated pre-nuptial agreement is acceptable in most of the States and it is binding on both parties. 3. In case they do not have a pre-nuptial agreement or either the husband or the wife refuse to go to an Islamic authority to resolve their disputes, then they have no choice except to go to non-Muslim American courts and because of the necessity and to protect the rights of woman or man, the decision of the American court should be acceptable, as long as it does not contain anything that is clearly forbidden under the Islamic law. Under these circumstances, if a woman obtains a decree of the dissolution of marriage, the Islamic centers should recognize it and should give the woman a letter confirming American court's decision. They may say that under the present circumstances we have no objection to the courts decision and consider this couple no more husband and wife under the Islamic law as well.
Q 2. Can husband and wife or one of them expose themselves in front of each other? (H.Y., Los Angeles)
A 2. Yes, there is no 'awrah (things to be hidden) between the husband and wife. Husband and wife can be naked in front of each other. However, Islam urges human beings to observe haya' (modesty). The Prophet - peace be upon him- said, "The Haya' is part of faith." So one should not be nude unnecessarily. Husband and wife can take their clothes off in front of each other to enjoy their sexual relations at the time of sex, but after that they should cover themselves. It is not good to walk all around the house naked, even in one's privacy what to say in front of others. It is absolutely haram to be nude in front of other people unless it be before the doctor for medical examination and treatment only.
Q 4. Can husband and wife taking bath together?
A 4. Yes, husband and wife are allowed to take bath together.
Q 5. Is husband allowed to drink his wife's milk?
A 5. It is makruh (disliked, not recommended). That milk is for the babies and it should be left for them. However, if, unintentionally, some milk goes into his mouth, it is not forbidden, but he should not plan to drink that milk. Rada'ah or foster relationship and its rules come only when a child under the age of two years drinks a woman's milk several times. If a grown up person drinks a woman's milk, she would not become his foster mother and the rules of rada'ah will not be applicable in this situation.
By Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi
These questions and answers are from Dr. Siddiqi's column, which is published on the Pakistan Link website.
Q 1. A Muslim woman was very badly treated by her husband. For several years she tried to separate from him and asked him for divorce, but he refused to divorce her. Finally she went to the American court and filed for divorce. Now she has received the judgment from the court and her marriage with this husband is dissolved by the American court, but her husband tells her that only a Muslim judge can dissolve the Islamic marriage. The non-Muslim American court has no right to dissolve their Islamic marriage. He insists that they are still married. He has some Fatwas from some 'Ulama in India and Pakistan who support this view. She really does not want to live with him, but he wants to punish her by keeping her in this uncertain condition. What is the solution? Please explain the Islamic position in this matter.
A 1. According to Islamic law only a husband has right to divorce his wife. In case a wife does not want to live with her husband she has a right of Khula', i.e. she should ask her husband to divorce her and in return she may give up her Mahr. If the husband refuses to divorce her and she finds it impossible to live with him, then she can go to a Muslim judge (Qadi) and can ask him for the dissolution of their marriage. Muslim judge has the authority to dissolve Islamic marriage.
The dilemma that Muslims in America face is this that there are no Muslim courts or Muslim judges in this country, and even if some Muslim scholars or imams of some Islamic centers dissolve a marriage according to Islamic laws, the American courts do not recognize Islamic divorces. Until the American court dissolves the marriage, the parties are considered legally married. In America, divorce can only take place by the judgment of the civil court, neither a husband has right to divorce his wife, nor a wife to divorce her husband, nor a religious authority of any religion can dissolve a legal marriage. (To my knowledge the only exception is given to some American Indian groups in their reservations.)
Under these circumstances we can say that Muslims have three options:
In case of marital dispute the husband of wife both should go to a Muslim scholar and both of them should sign an agreement that they would accept his decision. Once the decision is made they should file it in the family court. Such marriage settlement agreement will be according to Islamic law but it is also acceptable under the American family law. Once this agreement is filed it becomes binding on both parties.
Second option is that husband and wife both sign a pre-marital agreement that in case of dispute they will resolve their differences and/or dissolve their marriage according to the Islamic law.
A properly formulated pre-nuptial agreement is acceptable in most of the States and it is binding on both parties. 3. In case they do not have a pre-nuptial agreement or either the husband or the wife refuse to go to an Islamic authority to resolve their disputes, then they have no choice except to go to non-Muslim American courts and because of the necessity and to protect the rights of woman or man, the decision of the American court should be acceptable, as long as it does not contain anything that is clearly forbidden under the Islamic law. Under these circumstances, if a woman obtains a decree of the dissolution of marriage, the Islamic centers should recognize it and should give the woman a letter confirming American court's decision. They may say that under the present circumstances we have no objection to the courts decision and consider this couple no more husband and wife under the Islamic law as well.
Q 2. Can husband and wife or one of them expose themselves in front of each other? (H.Y., Los Angeles)
A 2. Yes, there is no 'awrah (things to be hidden) between the husband and wife. Husband and wife can be naked in front of each other. However, Islam urges human beings to observe haya' (modesty). The Prophet - peace be upon him- said, "The Haya' is part of faith." So one should not be nude unnecessarily. Husband and wife can take their clothes off in front of each other to enjoy their sexual relations at the time of sex, but after that they should cover themselves. It is not good to walk all around the house naked, even in one's privacy what to say in front of others. It is absolutely haram to be nude in front of other people unless it be before the doctor for medical examination and treatment only.
Q 4. Can husband and wife taking bath together?
A 4. Yes, husband and wife are allowed to take bath together.
Q 5. Is husband allowed to drink his wife's milk?
A 5. It is makruh (disliked, not recommended). That milk is for the babies and it should be left for them. However, if, unintentionally, some milk goes into his mouth, it is not forbidden, but he should not plan to drink that milk. Rada'ah or foster relationship and its rules come only when a child under the age of two years drinks a woman's milk several times. If a grown up person drinks a woman's milk, she would not become his foster mother and the rules of rada'ah will not be applicable in this situation.
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Women's Rights and Equality in Islam
By American convert to Islam, Yahya M.
At the beginning Islam was the most revolutionary liberalization of women's rights the civilized world has ever seen. But afterwards Muslims became ignorant of this and now Muslim countries are the scene of some of the worst abuses of women's rights. As the Latin proverb says, "Corruptio optimi pessima" (When the best is corrupted, it becomes the worst). The Qur’ân expresses the same theme in Sûrat al-Tîn: "We created man in the best pattern, and later reduced him to the lowest of the low."
Think of the possibilities for liberalization based on purely Islamic sources, not taking anything from the modern West. That would be truly Islamic feminism. The origin of Islam is far more liberal and feminist than what subsequent generations made of it. Women's rights were established by the Qur’ân and the Prophet (peace be upon him), who after all loved women; we need to filter out the spurious anti-woman hadiths that were added later. Although the term feminism has developed a somewhat poisonous connotation in today's discourse, it really just means the promotion of women's God-given rights and liberties, which is to the good of everyone.
We humans are essentially spiritual souls, and true liberation would begin from that identity. It's a shame that so often in the profane modern world, which only believes in quantity, all relationships are reduced to a zero-sum game of power. If feminism becomes nothing more than a power grab—men hold power over women, so now it's women's turn to seize the power and use it against men in turn—then no one advances any further toward higher enlightenment; the contest stays on the same horizontal level, the same problems recur in new guise with no resolution.
Men may fear or distrust "feminism" if they think it means nothing more than women gaining control over them. But genuine women's liberation would be liberating for all people, men and women alike. Not an issue of who wields power over whom, but transcending that whole issue of power, lifting our consciousness to a higher plane. A woman who is truly liberated would not be stuck in that old power struggle; she would not seek to control men any more than she would accept being controlled by men. Rather, both men and women would rejoice at being freed to relate to one another as loving, spiritual beings. This is real, and most of all the Sufis have actualized it. This is what the Prophet (peace be upon him) brought, if only that original liberating spirit could be released from under the dead weight of centuries of cultural repression like "purdah", which came not from Islam, but from the concubinage of the ancient Greeks and Romans, where women had no rights and were property owned by their fathers, husbands, and slave masters, so it is nothing but jâhilîyah pretending to be Islam, while Islam established the independent, equal status of women for the first time in civilization.
No More Denial.
I have noticed in forums over and over that if Muslims call attention to systemic injustice against women in Muslim countries, they are likely to get attacked and accused of supporting kufr against Islam. This reminds me of the divisive Vietnam War days when if anyone criticized the U.S. government for atrocities in Vietnam, the superpatriots would accuse them of supporting the Commies. It is sad that much of what passes for "Islam" these days is nothing more than mindless jingo flag-waving with no attention to the actual content of what Islam requires of us.
inna Allâha ya’muru bi-al-‘adli wa-al-ihsân
"Allah commands justice and the doing of good."
If some of us protest injustice that is being done in the name of Islam, that is because we love Islam and hate to see its good name being misused as a cover for oppression that is completely contrary to the spirit of Islam. Muslims have to clean up their own act, and insisting on denial of a problem is no service to the ummah. The injustice against women perpetrated by the system of power is very real. Willful blindness to the problem is no excuse for going along with it. If you really care about the essence of Islam, you need to establish justice. The injustice against women in Muslim countries is terrible, and there has been more than enough pious preaching about how Islam is great for women (in an ideal world), and not enough correcting of injustice on the ground. The evil comes from the system that keeps people locked in roles that stunt their growth, the system that unjustly penalizes women who would exercise their rights. As long as it isn't happening to someone you know, it's easy to stay complacent and acquiesce with the conventional system, overlooking its injustice. There has been more than enough (merely verbal) assertion that Islam is good for women. Indeed, true Islam would be good for women, if it were ever implemented properly! There has to be an end to the denial and more attention to the very real injustices that Muslim women are suffering right now. Why are girls left uneducated? What about access to medical treatment? Why are rape victims in Pakistan jailed or murdered while rapists go free? Why do those vicious thugs, the Taliban, think they can get away with beating and confining women? The situation is compounded by the pretense that "Islam" can somehow be the justification for harming women. That is nothing but a slander against the good name of Islam.
Why focus on the rights of Muslim women only?
This question sometimes comes up when discussing Muslim women's issues. The reason women's rights in Islam need special concern is because women in Muslim countries are made to suffer disproportionately by the system. What adds insult to injury is the way they try to justify their oppression of women by calling it "Islam." How could it be, when true Islam requires us to honor women? We have to make women's rights a top priority if the society as a whole is ever going to be healed. As Malcolm X said, the fate of a nation depends on how it treats it women. I am careful to emphasize that truly Islamic feminism wouldn't make the error of the modern world by treating human beings as quantities; we are spiritual beings above all. In Islam men and women equally submit to God and both are equally ennobled by the faith. Next, redressing injustice is a divine command: inna Allâha ya’muru bi-al-‘adli wa-al-ihsân.... (Allah commands justice and the doing of good.) When you look to the Qur’ân and the mercifulness of the Messenger, peace be upon him, you can see this beautiful vision of how life could be if selfishness weren't governing human dealings as it does. I am saying that Muslims should make sure to be good to women first of all, since they have been wronged the most. The systemic crimes against women have now increased drastically under those woman-beating Taliban hoodlums. The pain is even more acute right now.
This is in the spirit of the Prophet's answer to the Sahâbî asking who was most deserving of good treatment and honor: 1) Your mother; 2) your mother; 3) your mother; 4) your father.
* * *
A vignette from my Hajj diary.
Miná, 11 Dhî al-Hijjah 1416/April 29, 1996.
At the washing faucets at the end of the lavatory building, I have heard some men trying to drive away the women who were using the faucets for wudû’ and washing clothes. There are five faucets, and the men had been using the two or three on the right, the women the one or two on the left, according to their allotted sides of the lavatory building; the one in between was used by either, depending on the traffic of the moment. Some of the men decided that they would take over all five faucets, so they said things like "Hâjjah! Harâm!" Both times I saw this, I said out loud, "Lâ ba’s, lil-akhawât huqûquhunna." The sisters went and lined up alongside the building, waiting for their oppressors to go. When I would come back later, they would be using the left side faucets again. The unfair mentality of these brothers is not Islam. People use the word "harâm"much too freely. It should be limited to its technical meaning as defined in Islamic law.
At the beginning Islam was the most revolutionary liberalization of women's rights the civilized world has ever seen. But afterwards Muslims became ignorant of this and now Muslim countries are the scene of some of the worst abuses of women's rights. As the Latin proverb says, "Corruptio optimi pessima" (When the best is corrupted, it becomes the worst). The Qur’ân expresses the same theme in Sûrat al-Tîn: "We created man in the best pattern, and later reduced him to the lowest of the low."
Think of the possibilities for liberalization based on purely Islamic sources, not taking anything from the modern West. That would be truly Islamic feminism. The origin of Islam is far more liberal and feminist than what subsequent generations made of it. Women's rights were established by the Qur’ân and the Prophet (peace be upon him), who after all loved women; we need to filter out the spurious anti-woman hadiths that were added later. Although the term feminism has developed a somewhat poisonous connotation in today's discourse, it really just means the promotion of women's God-given rights and liberties, which is to the good of everyone.
We humans are essentially spiritual souls, and true liberation would begin from that identity. It's a shame that so often in the profane modern world, which only believes in quantity, all relationships are reduced to a zero-sum game of power. If feminism becomes nothing more than a power grab—men hold power over women, so now it's women's turn to seize the power and use it against men in turn—then no one advances any further toward higher enlightenment; the contest stays on the same horizontal level, the same problems recur in new guise with no resolution.
Men may fear or distrust "feminism" if they think it means nothing more than women gaining control over them. But genuine women's liberation would be liberating for all people, men and women alike. Not an issue of who wields power over whom, but transcending that whole issue of power, lifting our consciousness to a higher plane. A woman who is truly liberated would not be stuck in that old power struggle; she would not seek to control men any more than she would accept being controlled by men. Rather, both men and women would rejoice at being freed to relate to one another as loving, spiritual beings. This is real, and most of all the Sufis have actualized it. This is what the Prophet (peace be upon him) brought, if only that original liberating spirit could be released from under the dead weight of centuries of cultural repression like "purdah", which came not from Islam, but from the concubinage of the ancient Greeks and Romans, where women had no rights and were property owned by their fathers, husbands, and slave masters, so it is nothing but jâhilîyah pretending to be Islam, while Islam established the independent, equal status of women for the first time in civilization.
No More Denial.
I have noticed in forums over and over that if Muslims call attention to systemic injustice against women in Muslim countries, they are likely to get attacked and accused of supporting kufr against Islam. This reminds me of the divisive Vietnam War days when if anyone criticized the U.S. government for atrocities in Vietnam, the superpatriots would accuse them of supporting the Commies. It is sad that much of what passes for "Islam" these days is nothing more than mindless jingo flag-waving with no attention to the actual content of what Islam requires of us.
inna Allâha ya’muru bi-al-‘adli wa-al-ihsân
"Allah commands justice and the doing of good."
If some of us protest injustice that is being done in the name of Islam, that is because we love Islam and hate to see its good name being misused as a cover for oppression that is completely contrary to the spirit of Islam. Muslims have to clean up their own act, and insisting on denial of a problem is no service to the ummah. The injustice against women perpetrated by the system of power is very real. Willful blindness to the problem is no excuse for going along with it. If you really care about the essence of Islam, you need to establish justice. The injustice against women in Muslim countries is terrible, and there has been more than enough pious preaching about how Islam is great for women (in an ideal world), and not enough correcting of injustice on the ground. The evil comes from the system that keeps people locked in roles that stunt their growth, the system that unjustly penalizes women who would exercise their rights. As long as it isn't happening to someone you know, it's easy to stay complacent and acquiesce with the conventional system, overlooking its injustice. There has been more than enough (merely verbal) assertion that Islam is good for women. Indeed, true Islam would be good for women, if it were ever implemented properly! There has to be an end to the denial and more attention to the very real injustices that Muslim women are suffering right now. Why are girls left uneducated? What about access to medical treatment? Why are rape victims in Pakistan jailed or murdered while rapists go free? Why do those vicious thugs, the Taliban, think they can get away with beating and confining women? The situation is compounded by the pretense that "Islam" can somehow be the justification for harming women. That is nothing but a slander against the good name of Islam.
Why focus on the rights of Muslim women only?
This question sometimes comes up when discussing Muslim women's issues. The reason women's rights in Islam need special concern is because women in Muslim countries are made to suffer disproportionately by the system. What adds insult to injury is the way they try to justify their oppression of women by calling it "Islam." How could it be, when true Islam requires us to honor women? We have to make women's rights a top priority if the society as a whole is ever going to be healed. As Malcolm X said, the fate of a nation depends on how it treats it women. I am careful to emphasize that truly Islamic feminism wouldn't make the error of the modern world by treating human beings as quantities; we are spiritual beings above all. In Islam men and women equally submit to God and both are equally ennobled by the faith. Next, redressing injustice is a divine command: inna Allâha ya’muru bi-al-‘adli wa-al-ihsân.... (Allah commands justice and the doing of good.) When you look to the Qur’ân and the mercifulness of the Messenger, peace be upon him, you can see this beautiful vision of how life could be if selfishness weren't governing human dealings as it does. I am saying that Muslims should make sure to be good to women first of all, since they have been wronged the most. The systemic crimes against women have now increased drastically under those woman-beating Taliban hoodlums. The pain is even more acute right now.
This is in the spirit of the Prophet's answer to the Sahâbî asking who was most deserving of good treatment and honor: 1) Your mother; 2) your mother; 3) your mother; 4) your father.
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A vignette from my Hajj diary.
Miná, 11 Dhî al-Hijjah 1416/April 29, 1996.
At the washing faucets at the end of the lavatory building, I have heard some men trying to drive away the women who were using the faucets for wudû’ and washing clothes. There are five faucets, and the men had been using the two or three on the right, the women the one or two on the left, according to their allotted sides of the lavatory building; the one in between was used by either, depending on the traffic of the moment. Some of the men decided that they would take over all five faucets, so they said things like "Hâjjah! Harâm!" Both times I saw this, I said out loud, "Lâ ba’s, lil-akhawât huqûquhunna." The sisters went and lined up alongside the building, waiting for their oppressors to go. When I would come back later, they would be using the left side faucets again. The unfair mentality of these brothers is not Islam. People use the word "harâm"much too freely. It should be limited to its technical meaning as defined in Islamic law.
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